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最終更新日 : 2012/01/29 (Sun) 10:09
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Well put, sir, well put. I\'ll ceratliny make note of that.
Barab?si\'s Law of Programming: Program development ends when the program does what you expect it to do ? whether it is correct or not.
Go on, get out. Last words are for fools who haven\'t said enough.
The right to swing my fist ends where the other man\'s nose begins.
We are not retreating - we are advancing in another Direction.
Mother-in-law = A woman who destroys her son-in-law\'s peace of mind by giving him a piece of hers.
If a man does his best, what else is there?
A good sermon should be like a woman\'s skirt: short enough to arouse interest but long enough to cover the essentials.
Politicians are like diapers. They should be changed often, and for the same reason.
Every journalist has a novel in him, which is an excellent place for it.
If the automobile had followed the same development cycle as the computer, a Rolls-Royce would today cost $100, get a million miles per gallon, and explode once a year, killing everyone inside.
I\'ve just learned about his illness. Let\'s hope it\'s nothing trivial.
Instead, I was a painter, and became Picasso.
Ever notice that anyone going slower than you is an idiot, but anyone going faster is a maniac?
It is now possible for a flight attendant to get a pilot pregnant.
When you hear hoofbeats, think of horses, not zebras.
Why don\'t you write books people can read?
In any contest between power and patience, bet on patience.
Eternal nothingness is fine if you happen to be dressed for it.
All sorts of computer errors are now turning up. You\'d be surprised to know the number of doctors who claim they are treating pregnant men.
If a man does his best, what else is there?
I don\'t believe in the after life, although I am bringing a change of underwear.
One of the symptoms of an approaching nervous breakdown is the belief that one\'s work is terribly important.
The instinct of nearly all societies is to lock up anybody who is truly free. First, society begins by trying to beat you up. If this fails, they try to poison you. If this fails too, the finish by loading honors on your head.
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I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam; I looked into the soul of the boy next to me.
Whatever is begun in anger ends in shame.
All I need to make a comedy is a park, a policeman and a pretty girl.
As nightfall does not come at once, neither does oppression. In both instances, there is a twilight when everything remains unchanged. And it is in such twilight that we all must be most aware of change in the air ? however slight ? lest we become unwitting victims of the darkness.
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The President has kept all of the promises he intended to keep.
Let him who takes the Plunge remember to return it by Tuesday.
Politicians are like diapers. They should be changed often, and for the same reason.
The worst barbarity of war is that it forces men collectively to commit acts against which individually they would revolt with their whole being.
It\'s the liberal bias. The press is liberally biased to the right.
We had gay burglars the other night. They broke in and rearranged the furniture.
I\'m all in favor of keeping dangerous weapons out of the hands of fools. Let\'s start with typewriters.
Should array indices start at 0 or 1? My compromise of 0.5 was rejected without, I thought, proper consideration.
Testing proves the presence, not the absence, of bugs.
Everywhere I go I\'m asked if I think the university stifles writers. My opinion is that they don\'t stifle enough of them.
We had gay burglars the other night. They broke in and rearranged the furniture.
Victory goes to the player who makes the next-to-last mistake.
Humor is just another defense against the universe.
I shall not waste my days in trying to prolong them.
A fast word about oral contraception. I asked a girl to go to bed with me, she said \'no\'.
Hanlon\'s Razor: Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by stupidity.
Elegance is not a dispensable luxury but a factor that decides between success and failure.
Whenever I climb I am followed by a dog called \'Ego\'.
Smoking is one of the leading causes of statistics.
We had gay burglars the other night. They broke in and rearranged the furniture.
The difference between what the most and the least learned people know is inexpressibly trivial in relation to that which is unknown.
My last cow just died, so I won\'t need your bull anymore.
I love Mickey Mouse more than any woman I have ever known.
I must confess, I was born at a very early age.
Imitation is the sincerest form of television.
A state of war only serves as an excuse for domestic tyranny.
There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle.
I heard someone tried the monkeys-on-typewriters bit trying for the plays of W. Shakespeare, but all they got was the collected works of Francis Bacon.
Cholesterol is your natural defence against excessive circulation of blood, which can carry venoms, poisons and other toxins around your body.
Man is the best computer we can put aboard a spacecraft... and the only one that can be mass produced with unskilled labor.
If the United Nations once admits that international disputes can be settled by using force, then we will have destroyed the foundation of the organization and our best hope of establishing a world order.
The study of non-linear physics is like the study of non-elephant biology.
I\'d stop eating chocolate, but I\'m no quitter.
Copy from one, it\'s plagiarism; copy from two, it\'s research.
A lady came up to me on the street, pointed at my suede jacket and said, \'Don\'t you know a cow was murdered for that jacket?\' I said \'I didn\'t know there were any witnesses. Now I\'ll have to kill you too\'.
When ideas fail, words come in very handy.
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Maybe there is no actual place called hell. Maybe hell is just having to listen to our grandparents breathe through their noses when they\'re eating sandwiches.
Not everything that can be counted counts, and not everything that counts can be counted.
If there is no God, who pops up the next Kleenex?
A mathematician is a device for turning coffee into theorems.
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The world is a tragedy to those who feel, but a comedy to those who think.
Ah, you know the type. They like to blame it all on the Jews or the Blacks, \'cause if they couldn\'t, they\'d have to wake up to the fact that life\'s one big, scary, glorious, complex and ultimately unfathomable crapshoot -- and the only reason THEY can\'t seem to keep up is they\'re a bunch of misfits and losers.
I don\'t pray because I don\'t want to bore God.
Elegance is not a dispensable luxury but a factor that decides between success and failure.
I\'m living so far beyond my income that we may almost be said to be living apart.
Why don\'t they make the whole plane out of that black box stuff.
I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
Defining and analyzing humor is a pastime of humorless people.
If people are good only because they fear punishment, and hope for reward, then we are a sorry lot indeed.
It\'s clearly a budget. It\'s got a lot of numbers in it.
So I rang up a local building firm, I said \'I want a skip outside my house.\' He said \'I\'m not stopping you.\'
A people that values its privileges above its principles soon loses both.
The bureaucracy is expanding to meet the needs of an expanding bureaucracy.
Mit der Dummheit k舂pfen G?ter selbst vergebens
Not everything that can be counted counts, and not everything that counts can be counted.
The graveyards are full of indispensable men.
The only way to get rid of a temptation is to yield to it.
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The cry has been that when war is declared, all opposition should be hushed. A sentiment more unworthy of a free country could hardly be propagated.
Invading Iraq after 9/11 was like invading Mexico after Pearl Harbor.
Smith & Wesson ? the original point and click interface.
Death is a low chemical trick played on everybody except sequoia trees.
The secret of success is to know something nobody else knows.
I do not feel obliged to believe that the same God who has endowed us with sense, reason, and intellect has intended us to forgo their use.
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Far too many development shops are run by fools who succeed despite their many failings.
In all large corporations, there is a pervasive fear that someone, somewhere is having fun with a computer on company time. Networks help alleviate that fear.
UNIX is simple. It just takes a genius to understand its simplicity.
Genius may have its limitations, but stupidity is not thus handicapped.
Never test for an error condition you don\'t know how to handle.
I do not consider it an insult, but rather a compliment to be called an agnostic. I do not pretend to know where many ignorant men are sure -- that is all that agnosticism means.
Don\'t let it end like this. Tell them I said something.
I invented the term Object-Oriented, and I can tell you I did not have C++ in mind.
Richard Nixon is a no good, lying bastard. He can lie out of both sides of his mouth at the same time, and if he ever caught himself telling the truth, he\'d lie just to keep his hand in.
The object of war is not to die for your country but to make the other bastard die for his.
So I was getting into my car, and this bloke says to me
We didn\'t lose the game; we just ran out of time.
That is the saving grace of humor, if you fail no one is laughing at you.
The difference between \'involvement\' and \'commitment\' is like an eggs-and-ham breakfast: the chicken was \'involved\' - the pig was \'committed\'.
A camel is a horse designed by a committee
We had gay burglars the other night. They broke in and rearranged the furniture.
Hanlon\'s Razor: Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by stupidity.
The difference between what the most and the least learned people know is inexpressibly trivial in relation to that which is unknown.
Computer Science is no more about computers than astronomy is about telescopes
A blind bloke walks into a shop with a guide dog. He picks the Dog up and starts swinging it around his head. Alarmed, a shop assistant calls out: \'Can I help, sir?\' \'No thanks,\' says the blind bloke. \'Just looking.\'
It is practically imposible to teach good programming to students that have had a prior exposure to BASIC: as potential programmers they are mentally mutilated beyond hope of regeneration.
To err is human -- and to blame it on a computer is even more so.
We will not learn how to live together in peace by killing each other\'s children.
Imagine if every Thursday your shoes exploded if you tied them the usual way. This happens to us all the time with computers, and nobody thinks of complaining.
Most people would sooner die than think; in fact, they do so.
If you gaze long into an abyss, the abyss will gaze back into you.
If you gaze long into an abyss, the abyss will gaze back into you.
There is only one nature - the division into science and engineering is a human imposition, not a natural one. Indeed, the division is a human failure; it reflects our limited capacity to comprehend the whole.
Few things are harder to put up with than a good example.
The great thing about a computer notebook is that no matter how much you stuff into it, it doesn\'t get bigger or heavier.
If quantum physics doesn\'t confuse you then you don\'t understand it.
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Behind every great fortune there is a crime.
I\'m trying to see things from your point of view but I can\'t get my head that far up my ass.
When choosing between two evils, I always like to try the one I\'ve never tried before.
Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, doesn\'t go away.
A [pseudo]random number generator is much like sex: when it\'s good it\'s wonderful, and when it\'s bad it\'s still pretty good.
One word sums up probably the responsibility of any Governor, and that one word is \'to be prepared\'.
A sure cure for seasickness is to sit under a tree.
We have art to save ourselves from the truth.
It was God who made me so beautiful. If I weren\'t, then I\'d be a teacher.
If quantum physics doesn\'t confuse you then you don\'t understand it.
Real Programmers always confuse Christmas and Halloween because Oct31 == Dec25 !
C combines all the power of assembly language with the ease of use of assembly language
It\'s the liberal bias. The press is liberally biased to the right.
If you haven\'t got anything nice to say about anybody, come sit next to me.
My neighbour asked if he could use my lawnmower and I told him of course he could, so long as he didn\'t take it out of my garden.
If computers get too powerful, we can organize them into a committee -- that will do them in.
Before the war is ended, the war party assumes the divine right to denounce and silence all opposition to war as unpatriotic and cowardly.
No mention of God. They keep Him up their sleeves for as long as they can, vicars do. They know it puts people off.
The secret to creativity is knowing how to hide your sources.
As the post said, \'Only God can make a tree,\' probably because it\'s so hard to figure out how to get the bark on.
Don\'t sweat the petty things, just pet the sweaty things.
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Statistics is like a bikini. What they reveal is suggestive. What they conceal is vital.
Too many pieces of music finish too long after the end.
You can get more with a kind word and a gun than you can with a kind word alone.
Sex is like a Chinese dinner. It isn\'t over until everyone gets their cookies.
The years of peak mental activity are undoubtedly between the ages of four and eighteen. At four we know all the questions, at eighteen all the answers.
Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, doesn\'t go away.
They show you how detergents take out bloodstains. I think if you\'ve got a T-shirt with bloodstains all over it, maybe your laundry isn\'t your biggest problem.
The whole problem with the world is that fools and fanatics are always so certain of themselves, but wiser people so full of doubts.
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Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning.
Intellectuals solve problems; geniuses prevent them.
I took a course in speed reading and was able to read War and Peace in twenty minutes. It\'s about Russia.
Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you walk into an open sewer and die.
Descended from the apes? Let us hope that it is not true. But if it is, let us pray that it may not become generally known.
Why don\'t you write books people can read?
I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
A husband is what is left of the lover after the nerve has been extracted.
So I rang up a local building firm, I said \'I want a skip outside my house.\' He said \'I\'m not stopping you.\'
Many a man\'s reputation would not know his character if they met on the street.
Sailors ought never to go to church. They ought to go to hell, where it is much more comfortable.
The chain reaction of evil -- wars producing more wars -- must be broken, or we shall be plunged into the dark abyss of annihilation.
A printer consists of three main parts: the case, the jammed paper tray and the blinking red light
Comedy is simply a funny way of being serious.
Whether you think that you can, or that you can\'t, you are usually right.
Ah well, then I suppose I shall have to die beyond my means.
An effective way to deal with predators is to taste terrible.
Everything secret degenerates, even the administration of justice.
A printer consists of three main parts: the case, the jammed paper tray and the blinking red light
Patriotism means to stand by the country. It does not mean to stand by the president or any other public official...
The years of peak mental activity are undoubtedly between the ages of four and eighteen. At four we know all the questions, at eighteen all the answers.
If the United Nations once admits that international disputes can be settled by using force, then we will have destroyed the foundation of the organization and our best hope of establishing a world order.
A friendship founded on business is better than a business founded on friendship.
Perfection is achieved, not when there is nothing more to add, but when there is nothing left to take away.
Beware of computer programmers that carry screwdrivers.
When I am dead, I hope it may be said: \'His sins were scarlet but his books were read.
Glory is fleeting, but obscurity is forever.
Common sense is the collection of prejudices acquired by age eighteen.
Not everything that can be counted counts, and not everything that counts can be counted.
I\'m always amazed to hear of air crash victims so badly mutilated that they have to be identified by their dental records. What I can\'t understand is, if they don\'t know who you are, how do they know who your dentist is?
Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.
The opposite of a correct statement is a false statement. The opposite of a profound truth may well be another profound truth.
One doesn\'t have a sense of humor. It has you.
The only rules comedy can tolerate are those of taste, and the only limitations those of libel.
Sometimes a scream is better than a thesis.
I do not fear computers. I fear the lack of them.
I want to die in my sleep like my grandfather... not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car...
If there is no God, who pops up the next Kleenex?
We didn\'t lose the game; we just ran out of time.
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It is better to be quotable than to be honest.
Mit der Dummheit k?mpfen G?tter selbst vergebens
It is better to be quotable than to be honest.
I know that there are people in this world who do not love their fellow human beings, and I hate people like that.
Minsky\'s Second Law: Don\'t just do something. Stand there.
Don\'t sweat the petty things, just pet the sweaty things.
All I need to make a comedy is a park, a policeman and a pretty girl.
Humor is the great thing, the saving thing. The minute it crops up, all our irritations and resentments slip away and a sunny spirit takes their place.
So I was getting into my car, and this bloke says to me
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The only rules comedy can tolerate are those of taste, and the only limitations those of libel.
I think there is a world market for maybe five computers.
If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one?
If absolute power corrupts absolutely, where does that leave God?
A sense of humor is part of the art of leadership, of getting along with people, of getting things done.
I\'m not going to get into the ring with Tolstoy.
If I held you any closer I would be on the other side of you.
There is more stupidity than hydrogen in the universe, and it has a longer shelf life.
A low voter turnout is an indication of fewer people going to the polls.
It\'s the liberal bias. The press is liberally biased to the right.
The company doesn\'t tell me what to say, and I don\'t tell themwhere to stick it.
The surest way to corrupt a youth is to instruct him to hold in higher esteem those who think alike than those who think differently
The President has kept all of the promises he intended to keep.
We don\'t make mistakes, we just have happy little accidents.
Some editors are failed writers, but so are most writers.
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Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful. It\'s the transition that\'s troublesome.
No mention of God. They keep Him up their sleeves for as long as they can, vicars do. They know it puts people off.
So I was in my car, and I was driving along, and my boss rang up and he said \'You\'ve been promoted\'. And I swerved. And then he rang up a second time and said \'You\'ve been promoted again\'. And I swerved again. He rang up a third time and said \'You\'re managing director.\' And I went into a tree. And a policeman came up and said \'What happened to you?\' And I Said \'I careered off the road.\'
Gigerenzer\'s Law of Indispensable Ignorance: The world cannot function without partially ignorant people.
I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
One of the symptoms of an approaching nervous breakdown is the belief that one\'s work is terribly important.
I hope life isn\'t a big joke ... because I don\'t get it.
The chain reaction of evil -- wars producing more wars -- must be broken, or we shall be plunged into the dark abyss of annihilation.
Gentleman: Knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn\'t.
Testing proves the presence, not the absence, of bugs.
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The use of COBOL cripples the mind; its teaching should, therefore, be regarded as a criminal offense.
I know that there are people in this world who do not love their fellow human beings, and I hate people like that.
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What I am against is quotas. I am against hard quotas, quotas they basically delineate based upon whatever. However they delineate, quotas, I think, vulcanize society. So I don\'t know how that fits into what everybody else is saying, their relative positions, but that\'s my position.
The man who goes alone can start today; but he who travels with another must wait till that other is ready.
A great many people think they are thinking when they are merely rearranging their prejudices.
Good people do not need laws to tell them to act responsibly, while bad people will find a way around the laws.
A friendship founded on business is better than a business founded on friendship.
A blind bloke walks into a shop with a guide dog. He picks the Dog up and starts swinging it around his head. Alarmed, a shop assistant calls out: \'Can I help, sir?\' \'No thanks,\' says the blind bloke. \'Just looking.\'
Yes, I\'m fat, but you\'re ugly and I can go on a diet.
A low voter turnout is an indication of fewer people going to the polls.
Wit makes its own welcome and levels all distinctions.
He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire.
It is better to be feared than loved, if you cannot be both.
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What is morally wrong can never be advantageous, even when it enables you to make some gain that you believe to be to your advantage.
I\'m living so far beyond my income that we may almost be said to be living apart.
A model is done when nothing else can be taken out.
Egotist: a person more interested in himself than in me.
If you want to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first create the universe.
Some men, in order to prevent the supposed intentions of their adversaries, have committed the most enormous cruelties.
If you\'re sick and tired of the politics of cynicism and polls and principles, come and join this campaign.
Most people would sooner die than think; in fact, they do so.
If I held you any closer I would be on the other side of you.
Basically, I no longer work for anything but the sensation I have while working.
Why don\'t they make the whole plane out of that black box stuff.
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Richard Nixon is a no good, lying bastard. He can lie out of both sides of his mouth at the same time, and if he ever caught himself telling the truth, he\'d lie just to keep his hand in.
Biologically speaking, if something bites you it\'s more likely to be female.
You cannot depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus.
If you gaze long into an abyss, the abyss will gaze back into you.
There is no reason anyone would want a computer in their home.
When I am working on a problem I never think about beauty. I only think about how to solve the problem. But when I have finished, if the solution is not beautiful, I know it is wrong.
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Pascal /n./ A programming language named after a man who would turn over in his grave if he knew about it.
Is it not a strange blindness on our part to teach publicly the techniques of warfare and to reward with medals those who prove to be the most adroit killers?
Ever notice that anyone going slower than you is an idiot, but anyone going faster is a maniac?
A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.
A coward is a hero with a wife, kids, and a mortgage.
The company doesn\'t tell me what to say, and I don\'t tell themwhere to stick it.
Real Programmers always confuse Christmas and Halloween because Oct31 == Dec25 !
Few things are harder to put up with than a good example.
An inconvenience is only an adventure wrongly considered; an adventure is an inconvenience rightly considered.
In America, anybody can be president. That\'s one of the risks you take.
Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you walk into an open sewer and die.
最終更新日 : 2012/01/29/(Sun) 06:14
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